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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Jaworski

Singing Louder Than The Panic Attack

Updated: Feb 24, 2023

“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. ‘Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefather to give them.” Joshua 1; 5-6


The Heart of a Missionary

You know that part of the movie when the main character kinda zones out and the reality of everything hits them? The camera fades out, their life flashes before their eyes and they have a so called “come to Jesus moment” where they freak out and change everything they have been doing up to that point in the movie? It happens a lot right? Well that was me this week… I was still enjoying the blissful joy of my news and all of the sudden the full realization of everything hit me and I freaked out… on the inside of course… outside I was the perfect picture of sweet excitement. The difference between my inside and outside was so drastic though I didn’t exactly realize what was happening at first, all of the sudden I just wasn’t as motivated to do what I needed to do. Then one night I was laying there on my bed and I started reading the book of Joshua… I still don’t know why I picked that passage to read that night… but apparently the Lord knew I needed it… Five verses in it hit me like a ton of bricks and I thought to myself “Oh my goodness…. Joshua, the great leader of Israel, was overwhelmed! His mentor, his boss, his friend, Moses, had just handed him the reigns, said ‘ok Josh, you’re in charge now, see ya later!’ and then just died… “ I had never noticed this before… but it made sense… I mean if it had been me, I’d of completely lost it! And yet before he has a chance to completely loose his cool, God sweeps in and is like “ok Joshua… I got you. I am right here, just calm down… breathe… be strong and courageous, a.k.a pull yourself together and don’t lose your you know what! I have your back, you will succeed… as long as you hold tight to me and my word and do what I say.” And as a result, Joshua is like, “Ok God, you’re right! This isn’t that bad, everything will be fine, I’m fine, let’s do this!” And he did! Three days later Joshua and the Israelites cross the Jordan and embark on a military campaign fit for a Gerard Butler movie… except Joshua actually won, because the Lord fought for him!

I immediate started to pray…

“Lord, I am fighting feeling overwhelmed. Not by my tasks, but by the big picture, and ok maybe sometimes by my tasks too… I am up for the challenge, but help me not to get overwhelmed. Especially before anything even happens. Why is it that I keep circling back to this thorn in my side? Constantly having the urge or fighting the urge to give into the panic and fear that tries to creep into my heart the minute I start to love or get excited about something new, or get close to new people?


‘I’m gonna sing, in the middle of the storm,

Louder and louder, you’re gonna hear my praises roar,

Up from the ashes, hope will arise,

Death is defeated, the King is alive.

Sing a little louder, in the presence of my enemies,

Sing a little louder, louder than the unbelief,

Sing a little louder, my weapon is a melody,

Sing a little louder, Heaven comes to fight for me.

I raise a hallelujah, with everything inside of me,

I raise a hallelujah, I will watch the darkness flee,

I raise a hallelujah, in the middle of the mystery,

I raise a hallelujah, fear you’ve lost your hold on me.’

~ “Raise a Hallelujah” By Bethel Music

Lord, help me to be strong and cling to your word. Calm my fears, and let me excel in the role you've assigned me to and the tasks you have given me to do. In Jesus name, amen.”

Not that everything magically got better after that night… but I sure went to bed feeling a lot calmer and more prepared to face the work ahead!


Coco’s Commentary

Working as a missionary is not easy, and starting from scratch is even harder! Michelle’s story is a teeny tiny peak at some of the emotions we’ve been experiencing the last few weeks! In addition to actually doing ministry…. Michelle has had to come up with a fundraising goal ($50,000), create her marketing strategy to raise the funds (that’s where me and my adorable self-come in!), tell Remember Nhu and Youth for Christ her plan… (yes we are trying to fundraise for both places for the foreseeable future) and then actually get out there and fundraise…. Yikes!!! As a bear, I personally never get overwhelmed... But no wonder Michelle is struggling to not get overwhelmed!! She’s ok though, I promise! But a little help never hurt anyone! Your prayers and support are greatly need and greatly appreciated! You help us keep pushing forward! We love you all! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Well… I gotta run, lots to do… Au Revoir for now!

♥CoCo

Prayer Pit Stop

  • For Michelle to have courage to pursue her fundraising with confidence and faith, and that the Lord would go before us and raise more wonderful prayer partners like yourself to come alongside us.

  • For Michelle during this time of transition that she would build relationships with more experienced ministry leaders, and that she would grow in her leadership skills.

  • For our children, that the Lord would continue to protect them, and that they would grow in their faith during this time even though we can’t be with them physically.

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